I was one of you lads at one point. I pined after girls and when it didnt work out I blamed them for it, I called them names and developed misogynistic ideas and attitudes towards them. I always thought I was the good guy surrounded in a world full of bitches that only go for guys that are assholes. I was wrong. So terribly wrong. Here are my opinions that I’ve gathered since I got my first boner from looking at a female, be they from first hand experiences or passed down from people who have been in the same shoes as I. These are simply my own personal opinions and yours may very well vary. Different strokes for different folks.
This one thing that I am all to fimilar with. This is how it goes down. Girl likes girl, guy doesnt tell girl or shows that hes interested for some reason. The guy thinks that being the “Nice Guy” will get him the girl. Sadly the girl just isnt interested in the guy, or she is but since the guy is coming off in a way where it seems he isnt making a move she loses interest and moves on. As a result since she might really enjoy being with the guy she keeps him around because really they do have a great friendship. Relationships come and go, but a good friendship may not. That was the usual and most common way. Here are a couple more examples of how this can go down.
1) This is where the girl keeps the guy around because she likes the attention and the ego boost. Fuck her. That is not a friend. kick her to the curb and get friends that dont use you for some ego boost because you think it’ll get your dick wet.
2) This on is probably the most honest of the 3. Its where you tell them you like them and they’re simply not attracted to you. They enjoy being with you as a friend but not in a romantic type of way. This is where you actually are friends. No ego boosting or beating around the bush with feelings.
Personally I think the friend zone is a load of crap it’s a stupid term guys use because they’re to nice and insecure, and really have no way to talk to women. Be straight up. Let him/her know how you feel. Sure good may come to those who wait, but even better things come to those who work and fight for it.
You should all checkout this video. This guy has some pretty spot on ideas of this all. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0IFsfsyBGU
Nice Guy VS “Nice Guy”
I’m sure if you’ve made it this far you’ve probably asked your self why I have put quotations around the words Nice Guy. It’s a simple answer really. When a guy gets “friendzoned” he usually compalins because girls often say they want a nice guy instead of the confidence ridden asshats she usually dates. He says that he’s a nice guy but he doesnt realize hes not a nice guy. He in in fact a “Nice Guy.” So what is the difference between the two? Well a nice guy is just a guy that is nice. Simple as that. You dont have to be an asshole or a douche bag to get girls. Just have confidence. Simple as that.
Now here’s what a “Nice Guy” is.
- Usually bends over for a girls every command
- He’s ALWAYS there for here. at every moment of the day
- He’s insecure and doesnt know how to talk to women
- He is way to nice to the point where its overboard or creepy. Let the girl breathe man.
- They are anxious to be liked and loved that they do things for other people to gain acceptance and attention, rather than for the simply pleasure of giving.
- let people walk all over them and are afraid of altercations or bringing up their true feelings.
- instead of making the decisions they let her make all the choices. Let her work around your plans. If you have something going on let her no. Dont drop plans opr bend over backwards because she can’t do something.
- They pick girls with emotional problems and love to play doctor Phil
- they’ll never meet anyone as good as the girl they are currently talking to.
- They are way to loving and act as almost they need the girl.
So there you have it. A nice guy or simply put a real man, and a “Nice Guy” are two different things. Don’t bend over backwards for her, just be yourself. Not some ego inflated fuck stick.
The Bottom Line.
This answer is also simple. Confidence! Why does that douche bag or the asshole get the girl? because he has confidence he can talk to girls. he doesnt pull any of that “Nice Guy” shit. You dont have to talk to every girl you see. Yeah it can be hard for us awkward guys, but its easy really. Just start with a joke or something. for example there was this new girl at work. I thought she was pretty cute. So what do i do? I walk up to here and made a joke about how fun she looked like she was having. She laughed about it and we talked for a good 15 to 20 minutes till my boss told me to get back to work. Sure you could say hey or hello, but you should always follow it with something. If you do they’ll have a reason to respond to you with something that is exactly what you said to them. Conversations can get awkward fast if there’s nothing to talk about. If you have nothing to talk about just bring up something about your life, or the world around you. Hell bring up how good or shitty the weather has been the last few days if you have to. Those tend to spark up a conversation pretty fast from my experience.
Confidence is the key. Its not a hard concept at all. It may be scary at first, but once you get used to it it isn’t really hard at all.
These are all my own opinions. You’re may be different. Nowhere do I say I am correct in any of this. Just my advice and what I have picked up.